Reflections: The Day Before My TV Debut

I woke up, panicked.

Why?

I was overwhelmed.

Breakfast with one friend, a meeting with another to discuss a business proposal, a pitch immediately following that to a prospective investor, after which began just eight hours of the ‘day job’. That was the day. Scary, I know.

Not to mention that somewhere in between all of that I had to clothes shop for my role as an extra on the set of Home and Away, my first foray into the world of film and TV. I didn’t quite know where I was going to fit that in. Nor how I was going to be able to afford the spree. Six outfits I needed. I had one.

At the time my clothes were scattered between numerous locations across Sydney as I settled into my new flat. The prospect of arriving on set under-prepared terrified me. And yet the twenty-five minutes I had to spare in my dinner break provided little reward. My size seemed to be rather popular…

I didn’t know how to cope with all of this. In days gone by I’d have snoozed my alarm and bailed on all of these commitments. And yet somehow, in this instance, I got up, dressed up and showed up. To it all. Despite coming down with a cold and feeling like a tonne of bricks.

Breakthrough.

Being in and around the world of motorsport for the past ten years, I can’t honestly say that I’ve ever felt 100% comfortable with my surrounds. Is that a good thing? Certainly an opportunity for personal growth. And yet my instinct – should I have chosen to listen to it – would tell me that it just wasn’t right for me. I needed to explore myself in other environments.

Now, here I was, in what should have been a terrifying environment. In an environment that should have made me feel self-conscious and insecure. And yet, nothing. Instead, a mysterious sense of calm. A mysterious sense of belonging.

Surely I should look to this as a sign of sorts. The likely avenue that I am meant to pursue. Surely this sense of purposeful calm cannot be brushed aside as anything else.

Though now with the ‘beginners luck’ having worn off, I am forced to fight for my way back in. It is my time to follow through and to believe in such omens presented before me.

It is my time to trust.

Patience and prayer.

Faith.

PJ.

 

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