When You Just Need To Write…

They call it a stream of consciousness. Where you just start writing and don’t stop to read over what you are writing. That’s what I’m doing now.

I haven’t written for a while. I don’t know where the weeks are going! I’ve been through an interesting period as of late. Financial doom loomed large for a period. Miraculously I was able to pull through with the help of close friends. It was a re-commitment to my connection with a higher purpose. It was the embrace of what Tony Robbins describes as ‘absolute certainty’.  It was the knowledge that things were going to be okay no matter what. That the job, the flat, the friends and the opportunities I required would come. And they did. Through patience, prayer and persistence I was able to endure.

And so I sit here today ready to start work. I don’t feel too great. Sydney’s cold and rainy weather is taking its toll with illness slowly setting in. I’ve wanted to write more. But I’ve been distracted by life and things that are happening. Study, now, that has recommenced. Marketing. Advertising. I love it! The pursuit of a deeper understanding of human psychology. Behavioural economics. It’s fascinating!

I didn’t see myself studying this year. I’d put it on hold last year when work and other projects got in the way. Instead I’d entertained ideas of travel and adventure. Dreams in which I saw myself downsizing my life, packing my bags and setting off on a journey around the world! That’s what I had in my mind for 2017. And yet a relationship, short-lived albeit, opened my mind to some ideas that I hadn’t previously considered. It made me realise that the talents I have could no longer be allowed to remain undeveloped and unrefined; that I needed to invest greater time into understanding and expanding my knowledge base. And so within a week the decision to return to study seemed obvious. And with it a return to a dream I first had at the age of eleven.

Let me add that this relationship was rather disappointing in the end. Though short, it didn’t seem that way. And so heartbreak was an unfortunate consequence of its quick demise. Though I recognize the important part it played in my forward steps. It reminded me of underlying anger and the passion I have for empathy and selfless nature. It is hard for me to write. Still there is a wound to heal. This realm can be a times all too confusing.

But still I march on. Making plans. Assessment deadlines loom. I am progressing. This feels good. I acknowledge and embrace the sacrifices I must make in order to fulfill this grand vision. It is hard to say no to social invitations when for so long this was all my soul craved. Acceptance. Belonging. Sure, there is a balance I must find. And in this space I feel I am also making progress. But still I must not allow myself to become distracted.

Every day I add thoughts and ideas to the journal I carry around with me. Thoughts and ideas on businesses, speeches and changes I hope to soon create in the world. Improvements. I don’t know exactly how all of these ideas will unite to guide my direction. But slowly I feel I am getting there.

I carry a US $1 bill with me in my wallet leftover from my time in California last year. It serves as motivation that pushes me toward the next phase of learning I will embark on. Sometimes you just know when something feels right. And so very quickly this has become my goal. A return to the US  to connect and to learn.

Surely things will only get harder from here. My patience for ‘the simple life’ I am currently lead to live will wear thin I’m sure. And yet in honesty to myself I must confess that all these visions and dreams I have are not self-created. And with that in mind I must realise that the strength I must find to achieve such feats will only come from the same origin.

And so I look up.

PJ.

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Breakthroughs: When Your Psychologist Hits Home

She leaned forward, smiling, gently ascending from the sofa to conclude that day’s appointment.

She looked across at me and stared me deep in the eye. Confidently, though quietly, as if it were a secret I was only just discovering, she said:

“You’ve created a pretty amazing life for yourself, Paul, haven’t you?”

My life flashed before my eyes.

Had I?

Had I really created an amazing life?

Sat in the backpack beneath my feet was my journal whose pages were filled with the enormity of my failures. All of the things I started but didn’t finish. All of the opportunities I had needlessly thrown away. All of those times I had let doubt overtake my desire for success.

Again, had I really created an amazing life?

So easy it is to focus on all that has gone wrong. So easy it to focus on all that I wish had become my reality. So easy it is to focus on ‘what could have been’.

But what good does any of this do?

It is only through the recognition and acceptance of my past that enables the potential in my future. So many lessons from which to learn and apply. So many.

And from those, even thus far, I guess I have been able to create a pretty amazing life for myself.

When I take a moment to focus on the good things life becomes rather amazing.

Today, for example, the sun is shining, I’m living in an incredible city having lunch by the beach, surrounded by amazing friends, with the prospect of adventure being always just a day or two away.

Breathing deeply now.

Things could be worse.

PJ.

 

How Shall Our Generation Be Defined?

The greatest gift we can ever receive in our lives is life itself.

We defied the odds. We are lucky. So lucky.

Grateful I am for this opportunity. To waste I will not let it go.

I am victorious, from the moment I was born.

My life was not formed out of chance. Ludicrous it is to think that my beliefs, ideas, dreams and ambitions arose simply from luck. Too powerful they are.

I am but one, though called, as we all are, to a purpose I do not yet fully understand. Though true it is. As true as the knowledge we all share that no matter how hopeless things may seem, the sun will rise again and a new day will dawn.

Hope is life’s one constant. We are blessed. I am grateful. Through suffering I will grow. With strength, not my own, I will endure.

Now, with our purposes combined, we will thrive, and this is how our generation shall be defined.

PJ.

Originally published on Greatness Via Passion, 2014.

Post-Travel Realisations: I Have Too Much Shit!

I thought about formatting this post like many of the viral posts we see on Facebook or BuzzFeed… Creating a blog title like:

17 Things I Hate About Moving House

6 Lessons I Learned From Sleeping On A Couch

How To: Not Be Homeless In 6 Creative Ways

12 Not So Obvious Signs You Might Need A Bed…

There’s websites that teach you how to structure a title to lure in more readers. And whilst I know all of this stuff, for today’s post, it all went out of the window.

There were countless frustrations that came with not having a place to properly call home over the past couple of months.

(How I came to be in that position I’ll save for another post!)

Frustrations that came in awkward moments like those when you’re filling out an official form and don’t have an address to put down.

Or when you go to pick a mate up and he asks why your car is filled to the brim with clothes, miscellaneous furniture items and damp towels… (the joys of living by the beach)

That’s of course not mentioning the embarrassment felt in every conversation you have with someone who asks where you live!

Yes, there were quite a few challenges faced whilst waiting for a suitable flat to come onto the market. Too many to properly list.

With that said, there was one thing that particularly stood out:

I have too much shit!

When I moved to Sydney in March I was able to comfortably fill the boot of my car with all of the things I was bringing with me. Simple things. Clothes. Books. My footy.

And yet somehow, in the space of just six months, I was now laying on the floor of my bedroom, about to move out, with a dismantled queen-size bed, three large black garbage bags, a suitcase, gym duffel, backpack and IKEA bag full of things.

Not to mention two book cases, a laundry basket, beanbag, rug…

The list goes on!

Over the next two months these things would become dispersed between two friends’ houses at opposites ends of Sydney with the essentials remaining in the boot of my car for all to see.

It was overwhelming.

And yet, in the middle of all of this, I went on a three week trip to America on which I took just one suitcase and a small backpack. 22kgs of checked luggage. 6kgs of carry-on. More than enough to last the three weeks – and perhaps even longer!

This sparked a realisation:

What is all this stress I have created for myself simply by having all of this unnecessary stuff?

This stressful possession filled life is certainly not one in which I intended to live and yet it is a life in which many of us fall into having. Oftentimes we do not realise until such times as we have to move house… And then it hits us.

Of course, for some this life is okay. Though for me it has come the time to reverse this wayward spiral.

It has come the time to simplify.

There is so little that I truly need. Simply, what I need is the freedom to travel, to connect, to write and to inspire. That is all. And that is what I am working towards.

Watch this space. (There’ll be a lot more of it!)

PJ.