I’ve never seen the sun so big; its edges so well defined. I know I should not stare and yet I cannot look away. It’s obvious orange glow becomes less so the more I examine its now white shimmering surface. My eyes are temporarily relieved as it disappears behind the thin row of clouds floating an inch above the horizon. No where else that I look is there a cloud that can be seen.
I cannot recall such beauty as this. The air is still. Not cold. Perfect. The ambiance complemented by the endless queue of waves surging toward me to meet their journey’s end. As those around me unconsciously reach for their phones to capture this moment, I resist, instead reaching for my pen.
I do my best to describe what it is I am witnessing. I seek not to take the easy way out by capturing a picture that will quickly become lost among the many others crammed into my phone’s silicone fibers. I try and observe each detail. I try to become present and connected to all that is happening. Though in this I realise how much more practice is required.
As I conclude these sentences and prepare to now enter the no doubt icy water, life begins to feel just that little bit easier. I realise the moment’s beauty. And I am not waiting for to be notified of the views or likes on my Instagram or Facebook accounts.
I feel free. Even if just for this moment.
The music caresses my ears; the rum soothes my anxieties.
I look up to the sky; the clouds’ patient journey toward me from the horizon causing a tear to well in my eye.
One by one they drift gracefully across life’s ceiling never pausing to ask why it is they must continue. And yet through their humble action we look at them and marvel.
As the sky fades darker I notice the night’s first star. The day’s bright light and my thirst for sunshine and tanning time made me forget their simple beauty. Only now that I have seen the evening’s first are my eyes opened to the many more that multiply its spectacle.
The clouds continue to roll on by; planes ascending through their being; passenger’s unlikely to be sharing the thoughts traversing my mind as I look up.
In the distance the ocean continues to whisper to me seeking my company again. I think of how lucky I am to now be so near to its calming presence. Though still my anxiety peaks.
I ask myself: Why this continued feeling of unease? Things are good.
Though perhaps ‘good’ isn’t what I am seeking? Perhaps what I am really seeking is challenge and uncertainty?
Darkness is but a beginning. For both you and I were born from darkness’ womb. And all that we have come to love and cherish found its genesis in the dark abyss with which we are surrounded. Even the might of Orion and bright shining light of Sirius were once just universal nomads that sped to meet our upward gaze; their place-card on the ceiling of life for many years held only by the omnipresent. And it was from this apparently hopeless hope that came these marvelous lights we doubted could ever exist.
Think then for a moment: Brighter lights must too be on their way.
So I say to us both. In this time of our own apparent darkness, we must take heart in this knowledge. For just as yet more symbols of everlasting hope are carried to us upon the wings of a galaxy afar, we must not forget its’ Siamese counterpart travelling back in collaborate harmony. This being of course a great light second only to One – you and I.
Originally published on Greatness Via Passion, November 9th 2015.
All of the awkward silences,
The sleepless nights,
The tear soaked pillows,
The tossing, the turning and the toiling.
All of the blood, the sweat,
The anguish and the heartache.
The ups and the downs
And of course all of the broken promises.
The betrayal, the devastation;
Innumerable days filled with ponder, hoping.
All of the moments of financial insecurity and uncertainty;
The moments of wonder: How will I survive exactly?
Though despite my struggles,
I am still here.
I am still fighting.
I am still alive.
These moments have made me who I am today;
I am thankful for these testing times.
They give me the strength, the courage – the fight.
These moments serve as my inspiration.
My destiny draws ever closer.
This is my life, my dream.
It is real.
It is happening.
I will never give up.
Originally published on Greatness Via Passion, 2014.